One and Done?

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via likaan.org

There’s an argument going on these days about how many kids to have. Some say the more the merrier. Others say one and done! What you decide to do is obviously up to you. For me, I think that having two kids is ideal – that’s just for me. As an only child, I thought it was cool to be by myself when I was younger. As I’ve gotten older, I see the other side of being an only child and it kind of sucks. God forbid, if anything happens to my parents –  it’s just me. No one to help, no one to share memories – just me.

It seems that it would be awesome to have someone to share intimate childhood memories with. Yes, I have cousins that I grew up with but, I don’t think it’s on par with a sibling. The case for the only child is strong as many people are making the decision to stop at one. It’s more of a financial reason for many. It’s certainly more affordable to give the best and do more for one child. I get that. I have certainly considered that. It still hasn’t stopped me from wanting at least one more child. I think I have my own experience to thank for that.

Then others talk about the work involved with having more than one child. I know someone who keeps telling me “one is like none and two is like ten”. That was her way of discouraging me of thinking of having more children. Even though some siblings can’t stand one another I’m convinced somehow my kids would be different and be best friends. What say you?  One and done or bring on the bambinos?

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16 Responses to One and Done?
  1. Kristy
    September 21, 2011 | 8:26 am

    Personally, I will be one and done, but if it weren’t for a couple of circumstances out of my control, I would definitely have another just for the reasons you described. So, it makes me sad when I hear that some people do NOT like being an only child…

  2. Jennifer Dawn McLucas
    September 21, 2011 | 9:20 am

    My daughters are 2 years apart and best friends. In my experience going from 1 to 2 children was difficult for the first 18 months but has been easy street since then. My girls always have each other, so I don’t have to constantly find ways to entertain them… Now if only I could find a playmate for my son. 😉

    PS- One of the ways I’ve encouraged my daughter’s friendship is to make them share a bedroom even when we’ve had an extra room. I love to sit outside their door at night and listen to them whisper and giggle…

  3. Natalie
    September 21, 2011 | 9:31 am

    My husband and I both come from a family of 2 siblings…and I always thought big families seemed like so much fun especially when everyone is older. I only have one now, but I’m thinking of 3…but hard to say that when you don’t even have #2!

  4. Alicia @MommyDelicious
    September 21, 2011 | 9:49 am

    It’s definitely a personal choice. Right now, I am happy with my one son. If I get married, I’ll have another one. But I think only one more (unless, of course, if I marry well…). If I don’t get married and have a baby by the time I’m 35, I’m totally fine with my one kid. I can give him a really good life without us struggling. My family struggled alot when I was growing up. It was not fun. I don’t want that for myself or my son.

  5. Erica
    September 21, 2011 | 9:57 am

    I go back and forth between one and two. No idea.

  6. blueviolet
    September 21, 2011 | 11:50 am

    I had one of each and I knew that was my perfect number. I thought one kid per parent was easy to handle when out and about. Since I had one of each, I was totally satisfied!

  7. kita
    September 21, 2011 | 12:29 pm

    I was an only child also and losing my mom was the worse because I had no one to help me with anything. I have always wanted 3 kids 2 boys and 1 girl. I have one of each right now I would not mind another down the road but I think I am content with my two. My hubs does not want anymore at all he is done so if I have another one I will have to find another man. (This is what he says lol)

  8. Dana Brown Ritter
    September 21, 2011 | 12:58 pm

    I originally wanted to have FOUR. I grew up as a middle child of 3, and that was fun. But there is a big gap between me and my (half) older sister, so I was also kind of like the oldest.

    Being around big families, I have always loved how they share everything, and the adventures and memories with a bigger family. So, I wanted four.

    Then… I didn’t get married until 30, and it’s looking like we won’t even start making our family until I’m like 35… and I see the reality of living my everyday life with my husband’s needs because of his disability, and I thought I had changed my mind to one and done… but, I hadn’t ever thought about it like you mentioned, with the being an only child as an adult…

    I think you’ve made me re-think it yet again.

  9. Krissy
    September 21, 2011 | 1:56 pm

    I want one more and then I’m done. I’d like my daughter to grow up with a sibling. I grew up with 5 ( 4 sisters and 1 brother) and I couldn’t even imagine life without siblings. I wouldn’t want her to have to go through it. She has LOTS of cousins but it’s never going to be the same as having a brother or sister of your own.

  10. Minivan Mama
    September 21, 2011 | 6:05 pm

    I say think about 20 years from now….multiple kids is tough…but in the future you would never regret having more than one!

  11. JDaniel4's Mom
    September 21, 2011 | 6:17 pm

    One sure keeps me hoppng. He gets lonely from time to time. We are so blessed to have a four year old living next door.

  12. Kiara
    September 21, 2011 | 8:02 pm

    Bring on the bambinos! I totally want more than one; four to be exact. I’m not sure if I’ll actually get to four, but the one I have makes me want more. I love going home for the holidays and catching up with my brother and sister and seeing my nieces and nephews. I love that our family is sizable. I know it cost more to raise kids compared to our parents generation, but they found a way to make it work; and so can I. My body just needed some time to recoup and I needed to figure out what I was doing:-)

  13. kateri
    September 22, 2011 | 3:11 am

    It is a decision you have to make based on your family and your needs. What is right for you may not be right for someone else. I’m in my late 30’s and we are just finally coming to a point where we feel like we can start trying for a child, so I may end up with only one. I come from a really big family so having just one it a bit hard for me to imagine, but I can also say that growing up in a really big family wasn’t always fun.

  14. Optimistic Mom
    September 22, 2011 | 4:26 am

    Thanks for sharing your story of growing up as an only child. I kind of worry about that for my son. However, I am on the one and done bus! 😉
    I am thankful for one happy and healthy child. I think if things in our lifestyle were different, maybe we would try for one more. It has been hard raising one, especially since we don’t have family or friends nearby. Having moved a lot you do everything without many breaks. So although I have two sisters, and both my parents living I kind of feel alone in some aspects.
    Ultimately, I think you have to do what you feel is right for you and your lifestyle.

  15. Cari
    September 22, 2011 | 12:03 pm

    Well I’d probably have 5 if I could, but I’m not altogether sane, so there’s that. Do what your heart says. Work, psssshh. Kids are hard work no doubt. But all the good outweighs the bad.

    My sister and I fought like cats and dogs as kids, but when the going got tough, we were there for each other. She’s my best friend now, and couldn’t see life without her.

    Best of luck in your decision…2..2…2..2! I’m biased:)

  16. MrsTDJ
    September 27, 2011 | 1:53 pm

    I am firmly planted in the one and done wagon. I am an only child and I love every single bit of it. As my parents age, I do understand how some onlies have regrets of not having a sibling, but I’m not there. *lol* My father had a bout with prostate cancer last year, and being the “go to person” was fine with me. I am able to be close to my husband, my mother and my BFF. I am hoping to instill everything that I can into my son so that he will grow up content and happy as an only.

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