No Buts About It

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via improvingthesilence.com

For me, motherhood came with a lot of questions. What is labor really like? How does breastfeeding work? How am I supposed to function with no sleep? I’ve learned along the way that some things you just have to figure out for yourself. Everybody is different and so are their experiences.

That being said, I’ve had a few friends ask me about motherhood. A few of them are thinking of taking the leap themselves. At each stage my answer has been the same. “It’s awesome! He’s the best thing we’ve ever done.” More than once this answer has been met with shock. The ladies I have been talking to hadn’t heard that reaction from anyone they’d talked to.

Most people would absolutely say how much they love motherhood but there were always “buts”. I don’t have any buts. I feel like I could give you all the stories of sleepless nights and cranky babies – and I do. I feel like anyone looking to head down this road deserves some honesty about what’s ahead. I just don’t stop there with the “woe is me” side. I don’t dwell on those things. I choose to look at the positive side of being a mother. Yes, my son pushes my boundaries and tries to test me but, that means he’s developing right on target. Yes, he loves the word “no”. He’s exercising his independence by using it. He’s being defiant by overly using it and we’re working on that. 🙂  I am beyond thankful that my child is developing the way that he is. You really do have to look for the blessings in life.

Being a mother is something I’ve wanted for a long time. I see people all the time who so want to be mothers and it isn’t happening when they’d like it to for whatever reason. People who would be awesome parents, sometimes don’t get that chance. I don’t take it lightly that I do. I find it to be an honor and a privilege. I’m not crazy enough to think that it’s going to be rosy all the time. I’m also not crazy enough to speak anything less than that into my life.

All of the sleepless nights are just part of the process. It’s like new parenthood initiation. They have to break you in and make sure you can handle the awesome responsibility you’ve been given. Babies totally haze you! When I was going through it, I wasn’t particularly thrilled about it. I was beyond exhausted. But again, it’s part of the process. Still, if I could have afforded a baby nurse to take a few night feedings back then, I would have been ALL OVER IT! Trust me! I would have pumped bottles of milk in her hands so fast to get a few extra hours of sleep! I digress.

A long time ago, I was told that “what you focus on grows.” From that moment, I’ve made a conscious effort to focus on the positive. If I spend so much time focusing on the not-so-great parts of anything, then I’m missing out on all the fabulous things right in front of my face.

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10 Responses to No Buts About It
  1. Angela
    October 11, 2011 | 7:30 am

    I like that. What you focus on grows. It makes a lot of sense. Any parenting, though sometimes challenging, is so rewarding when you place a good amount of focus on it.

  2. Erica
    October 11, 2011 | 9:31 am

    Great points and a good reminder.

  3. kita
    October 11, 2011 | 11:55 am

    Love it I think if you are at the right place in life and everything falls together motherhood can be rewarding.

  4. Denise
    October 11, 2011 | 1:32 pm

    What you focus on grows- I like that!

    Being a mom is hard and I get scared just to say that.. because someone comes around and tells me I’m ungrateful, but you’re right. There is more GOOD in it that anything.

    I see my son do the same as yours with the independence and I see it as a positive thing “most” of the time. I do want him to walk his own path in the end.

    Love this genuine post.

  5. Glamamom
    October 11, 2011 | 3:30 pm

    That’s wonderful. I’m with you, focusing on the positive is the way to go because motherhood is hard BUT the reward is so great.

  6. blueviolet
    October 11, 2011 | 3:58 pm

    I don’t have any buts either. Not even one. I love, love, love being a mom, and I wish I could start it all over from day one again!

  7. Optimistic Mom
    October 12, 2011 | 7:13 am

    I always give people who ask, the real deal….which includes my sacrifice of things like sleep, sanity, finances, etc. So when I tell them this, they gotta know it is so worth it! I wouldn’t change a thing, becoming a mother made me better in so many ways….no buts about it. 😉

  8. Mimi
    October 12, 2011 | 9:42 am

    Like you I make sure to outline all of the great things while inserting a little bit of the challenges. Not to discourage but to give them an idea. No one told me breastfeeding would be challenging at first or all that comes after giving birth. I wish someone would’ve warned me so I would’ve had an idea.

    So I make sure I throw certain things in there while saying each person is different.Motherhood is such a blessing. You said it when you mentioned that some people would give their lives to be mothers and it doesn’t happen for them.

  9. The Pepperrific Life
    October 16, 2011 | 4:59 am

    What you focus on grows is something totally new to me. Thanks for the insight. It’s something I can definitely apply to my life right now.

  10. Fatima Hipolito
    January 31, 2012 | 12:42 am

    I like this post sis, because you share some really great about you grows…

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