Hot Topic Thursday – A Thousand Words

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via time.com

They say a picture is worth a thousand words. This picture has stirred up a least a few million. I have read reactions all across the web to this blogger, Jamie Grumet, breastfeeding her three-year old son. The picture is controversial, for sure! I don’t even know that I have anything to say about her breastfeeding a three year old boy. My first thought is that it wouldn’t be me. For me, I don’t see the benefit in nursing my child that long. Two years is tops in my world. I narrowly missed one year with my own son. Jamie is an advocate of attachment parenting and this cover bluntly and boldly puts it in your face. I’ve heard of attachment parenting but didn’t know much about it. I looked it up…

Sensitive and emotionally available parenting helps the child to form a secure attachment style which fosters a child’s socio-emotional development and well-being. Principles of attachment parenting aim to increase development of child’s secure attachment and decrease insecure attachment.

Sounds fine – why the boob for a three year old though. He’s not ready to wean, so why make him? Is that the logic? I dunno. Not my business or decision. I think what disturbs me most is that the cover is obviously trying to stir up controversy. There really wasn’t another way for the cover to convey the point of the story?  It seems to be just another argument in the “mom wars”. I’m not sure “dad wars” exist. If they do, they don’t get nearly the amount of attention. With moms it’s constant. Natural versus medicated delivery, breast versus bottle, stay at home versus working mom, clothe versus disposable diapers. I could go on – seriously, I could! I’ll spare you, because I like you.

Sure I have my preferences on every topic but I’m not beating anybody over the head with it or on the cover of a magazine with the headline “Are you Mom Enough?” Mom enough for what, exactly? You know a question like that instantly ticks people off and puts them on the defense. Why go there? Oh yes, sales!!!!

I’ve read many good things about Jamie as a blogger and mom. I’ve read her blog in the past and really like her. That hasn’t changed. Right now, I just feel like she’s being used – just a little. Yes, she’s telling her story in regards to attachment parenting but it could have been done by Time magazine in a way that was less self-serving – to them! Having a mother on the cover breastfeeding her child is no big deal. It’s the idea that all of this was staged for impact that give me the “ick” feeling. I get it, it’s jut that in this case, a child was part of the staging process.

It’s like, “Ok, mom wear this. Have your son stand here. Ok, now that we’re all in position, go ahead and nurse him while I snap away. Don’t forget both of you should be looking at the camera. Can you look a little more aggressive? That’s right, give us that conviction. Great, that’s a wrap. Little Johnnie can we have our chair back. I know you’re not done nursing but we’ve got our shot.”

What are your thoughts about this cover?

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21 Responses to Hot Topic Thursday – A Thousand Words
  1. Mimi
    May 17, 2012 | 7:47 am

    I get the attachment parenting thing. I adopt some of the principles but I really think its just parenting what comes natural.

    As for all of this mommy wars business it really gets me upset because there are people that fall into these traps. I respect anyone for any decision they make. I could care less how long someone chooses to breast feed their child or if they cloth diaper. If they are not bothering me or saying anything about mines I could care less.

    The irony is the ones who are always pushing and wanting people to understand their “way” are the main ones criticizing others for doing things their “way.” I don’t have time. I wish everyone would just do what they do and support one another when needed.

    I’m done. *steps off soapbox*

  2. This Cookn' Mom
    May 17, 2012 | 9:23 am

    I agree with mimi. Every parent has their own style and take on parenting. I think all of us mothers pull from every form of parenting to make our own unique style. Although I never breastfed that long, I did co-slept with my first born for the first 3 years of her life. I did not like the fact that the magazine chose this particular photo for the cover. It seems like they were trying to start something.

  3. Renate
    May 17, 2012 | 9:24 am

    Breastfeeding a 3-years old boy?! I think that’s disgusting… I’ve breastfed my little daughter as well, but a three-years old boy?! I mean really? And what if he goes to the kindergarden?

  4. BernettaStyle
    May 17, 2012 | 10:14 am

    I thought the cover was a conversation starter for sure and whatever Time was trying to do – it worked.
    And 3 years old? I believe FOR ME it’s too big. But that is me. I breastfeed both of mine for 6 months. I am fine with that.

  5. Tiffany Morrison
    May 17, 2012 | 10:44 am

    Everyone knows the benefits of breastfeeding. The cover was a little over the top for me. Just another attempt, successful I might add, to fan the flames of the never ending, divisive, ugly, nasty “moms war.” Ugh, who needs more of that? On a personal note, what really bothers me about the extreme breastfeeding message is that it never addresses those who simply cannot breastfeed. There are those who made the choice not to, and then there are those who would have loved to but never were able to. For example, my son was 9 weeks early and had to stay in the NICU for six weeks. My milk never came in, not during my pregnancy, not after my pregnancy, it just didn’t. I tried everything under the sun for five very long months and the experience both my son and I had was anything but nurturing and loving and warm and fuzzy, etc. It was incredibly frustrating for both of us and often left us both in tears. So I didn’t breastfeed. There is nothing worse than being hit with the onslaught of the “good mothers breastfeed” message.

    • Cam
      May 17, 2012 | 10:48 am

      you make a great point. nobody ever talks about what it’s like from that perspective. people make the assumption that you just chose not to and then judge you based on that. thanks for adding your thoughts. i love to see things in a different way.

  6. Chic SAHM
    May 17, 2012 | 10:48 am

    The only issue I have with the article is the cover. I don’t care how long another mother chooses to breastfeed but seeing it on the cover was a bit much. I breastfed for 12 and a half months and loved the experience. To each her own I guess….I wish they wouldn’t make it seem like you are a bad mom if you don’t BF. It’s not for everyone and some women just can’t do it. We all do are best and quite frankly we are all “Mom Enough”.

  7. Alicia @MommyDelicious
    May 17, 2012 | 10:50 am

    Ditto. And DITTO! The cover is absolutely ridic! And it was for one purpose only — to stir up controversy. I’m so over the “mommy wars” bc I really believe that ppl are doing the best that they can. Meanwhile, there are actually children out there WITHOUT mothers. At all. But Time puts a cover like this. Ugh! Why not put a cover about another topic — like kids without parents or something a little more “serious.” Oh yeah, that won’t sell as much.

    I didn’t even read the article… I’m not giving it the time of day anymore.

  8. Stesha
    May 17, 2012 | 11:02 am

    My stance is to each his own. The way I see it? We’re all in this together and we’re ALL mom enough. Your way might not be what’s best for me, but I’m surely not going to kick you over the head with my views. And I do agree that the cover was a ploy to cause strife.

    Hugs and Mocha,
    Stesha

  9. Baby Shopaholic
    May 17, 2012 | 12:35 pm

    I just think this is a hot mess. But on the real… I dont want to see any women pulling her boob out for a kid that is almost as tall as her.

  10. Corinne
    May 17, 2012 | 12:56 pm

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  11. grace at {Gabbing with Grace}
    May 17, 2012 | 1:49 pm

    I TOTALLY agree. They did use her to stir up controversy. However, I think there has been *some* helpful conversations that have happened as a result…. a lot of us learning about each others parenting styles and bigger than that a lot of us trying to have grace and compassion on one another b/c we realize we are just parents trying to make it!!!

  12. Mrs. Pancakes
    May 17, 2012 | 3:06 pm

    It was definitely controversial…and to
    Sell magazines!

  13. Natalie
    May 17, 2012 | 6:28 pm

    I agree TIME just did it to stir things up and to sell magazines. It’s just sad b/c moms already have the “mom wars” like you said…it’s just a sad way to get readers.

  14. Laila @OnlyLaila
    May 17, 2012 | 6:54 pm

    *sigh* I haven’t had a chance to read the article, nor am I familiar with the woman on the cover. I’m not bothered by the her BF’ing a child that age. But Time knew what they were doing. I am more upset that whenever we talk about parenting in mainstream media, Black women are left out. Ain’t I a Mama?

  15. Roses Daughter
    May 18, 2012 | 12:18 am

    Ummm yeah. I don’t have a problem with breast feeding, I have a problem with this cover. It’s staged to be controversial.

  16. KalleyC
    May 18, 2012 | 5:41 am

    This cover was just added fuel to the mommy war fire. It doesn’t matter how long a person decides to breastfeed or wean, it doesn’t make either one mommy enough. Each person does what’s best for their family. There shouldn’t be any issues.

  17. Sol
    May 21, 2012 | 3:36 am

    The picture does attract controversy and worth a lot of words. Moms like us should participate on this discussions

  18. Barbara
    May 22, 2012 | 2:10 am

    Omg the last line had me cracking up. I think if you want to nurse your nearly four year old that is up to you but don’t stand him on a chair and put him on a National magazine. That was done for sheer shock value.

  19. Leah Cron
    August 1, 2012 | 12:11 am

    Breastfeeding is very important to for the baby since the milk of mom is very nutritious to the health of the baby. In addition, breastfeeding can make moms sexy as well.

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