For me, having children was a beautiful thing. Being a mom is truly my favorite gig. I am that mom that doesn’t have complaints about motherhood. I’m not saying things are always perfect. I’m not saying my babies are always angelic. What I am saying is that I made a choice to bring them into this world. I had an understanding of what I was getting into. I don’t think you can fully know, until you’re in it. While it’s not always butterflies and ice cream, I love my babies and have no regrets about bringing them into the world.
I say all this to say, I read an article about this lady and it almost made me want to punch her. Almost.
So, in May 1979, Stuart was born, blue in the face as the cord was wrapped round his neck. While other mothers would be frantic with worry, I remained calm when the doctor whisked him away. I sent Tony back to work and for the next four hours I waited without any apprehension.
I did not really think about Stuart at all, until Tony returned after work and asked where he was. He was fine, of course, but when they wheeled him back into the ward I did not experience that sudden leap of the heart that new mums are expected to feel. Instead I sat down with a cup of tea and thought bleakly, ‘What have I done?’
I don’t have a problem with her feeling this way. I’m sure she’s not alone. Everyone isn’t in love with being a mom. Some people flat out don’t like children, even their own. She’s entitled to feel the way she feels. My issue with her is that she wrote this article pretty much saying why she wishes her children were never born and then added their names and pictures to drive the point home.
I can’t imagine if my mother felt this way about me AND then went on to publish an article about how much she regrets my existence. An article complete with pictures of our presumed happiness during my childhood. It’s one thing to feel like your mother doesn’t like you, or you’re not close or you don’t connect. For Isabella, her kids know how she feels. I’m sure that gives them the warm fuzzies. Now their friends, co-workers, spouses and everyone else also knows. Thanks, mom!
While some people share my rage regarding this story, others applaud her for saying what so many don’t. Some feel like her speaking up will give other women comfort in knowing they’re not alone. I guess I can see that point. I just happen to think it was completely self-centered to put her kids on blast for their existence. Turns out, they had no choice in the matter. No child gets the chance to ASK to be here.
I’d love to hear your thoughts…