Mean Moms…Is it REAL?

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Recently, I was watching an episode of Bethenny about mean moms and cliques in mommyhood. From the beginning, I felt like I couldn’t relate. Then, I started thinking. I have had some interesting interactions with other moms. Beyond the whole breast vs bottle, cloth vs disposable stuff. I have noticed more of a difference in moms since I’ve been at home. I get my son to and from school and meet all the other moms in the process.

Some are warm, others are – interesting. At times, I feel like they are trying to figure me out. It could be all in my head. There’s one mom though who really strikes me as odd. Sometimes she drops off, other times it’s her husband. I met her husband first. He was UBER friendly. I think he connected with me immediately because we have two of the very few chocolate kids in the school. He was talking about getting together for park play dates, exchanging information…all of it. He was telling me excitedly, “just wait until you meet my wife.”  He had told me all of their history. Issues with pregnancies and how many more children they may have, and on and on. Since he was SO friendly, I thought his wife would be awesome!

Well, ahem, she may be awesome… to other people. When I saw her dropping off their daughter, I introduced myself and said that I had met her husband at drop off the other day. I thought I was being friendly. She was… cold. Very COLD. It was as if I said something that was all kinds of inappropriate. She wasn’t even pleasant. Didn’t even try to be. From then on, I just keep it cordial and keep it moving. The thing is, she’s barely cordial. I found it so odd. Her husband is like her polar opposite.

rudeShortly after I met his wife, he came up to me all excited asking if I’d met her. I’m like, uh, yeah. I kinda smiled but quickly changed the subject. He is still really friendly and always speaks. He remember my kids names and loves t make small talk with them. Their daughter always speaks as well. That wife though. She can not be bothered. She really stands out too. All of the other women there are at the very least cordial. Even the ones that seem like they are trying to figure me out are talking to me in the process.

Honestly, when I think about it, she doesn’t talk to ANYBODY. I don’t know that she’s even said so much as “hi” to the teacher. Like I said, she really stands out. Everyone else at least makes small talk outside of the classroom. I can’t be mad at her. She’s being true to who she is. It’s just so bizarre because her husband made her seem so different. I expected her to be more like him. Maybe he’s extra outgoing and she’s extra shy?

 

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14 Responses to Mean Moms…Is it REAL?
  1. Natalie
    February 11, 2014 | 9:12 am

    That is odd…maybe she’s just really insecure? Who knows…but everyone can at least be cordial! I’m not super friendly all the time but I’m not rude. That is crazy that her husband described her in that way, and then she was total opposite! It’s a great mystery!

  2. LaShawn
    February 11, 2014 | 9:30 am

    Does she think you want her husband? I think she’s very insecure for some reason…

    • Teems
      February 11, 2014 | 5:35 pm

      That was my first thoughts! Maybe the husband spoke of you and it turned her off.

  3. Trina - Baby Shopaholic
    February 11, 2014 | 11:00 am

    Folks are just weird. Especially parents. I don’t think I look that young but Peyton’s class mates think I am so wild crazy young mom. They are all surprised when they find out how old I am. She could be insecure or the husb may know she is weird and trying to help her find friends. Who knows…

  4. Tia
    February 11, 2014 | 11:29 am

    She just might be awkward in social settings. I think it’s interesting to see how all the different women react to each other when we’re at play dates, preschool or another kid thing. As much as I’d like to believe that we mature and outgrow some of the crazy things girls do I am never surprised when I meet a woman who is less than friendly. I just figure she’s in the small percentage that hasn’t figured out how to at the very least be polite even if you don’t hit it off with another Mom. It sounds like the Mom in your post might be going through something deeper if she doesn’t even talk to the teacher. I might not talk to all the other Moms in my daughter’s class but I am always talking to the teacher about how my daughter did that day, progress and what I can be doing at home to help.

  5. Tia
    February 11, 2014 | 11:34 am

    I always find it interesting to see Moms interact with each other. It no longer offends me when someone isn’t nice because I have realized that having kids unfortunately doesn’t result in you not still acting like a child yourself. Some of these Moms need to pull it together, LOL! Anyway, it sounds like she might have a deeper issue if she doesn’t even talk to the teacher.

    *Sorry if there was a duplicate comment. My first one vanished into outer space, LOL!*

  6. Kita
    February 11, 2014 | 11:41 am

    Hmm odd. I at last speak and say hi. I am quiet at first myself because I like to scope things out and check out the scenery before I make a move.

  7. Jenni
    February 11, 2014 | 11:41 am

    It’s so weird for her husband to think she one way and for her to be the total opposite. It could be something deeper stemming from their relationtship or it could be that her husband just doesn’t know his wife and she’s a total B!

  8. Tamara
    February 11, 2014 | 2:31 pm

    Probably she’s shy, because that does come across as rude and snobby sometimes, even when it’s not.
    Either that or she’s envious that you’re a such a stunner! That’s my first theory.
    I constantly dissect the friendliness of the other preschool parents. Some of them really do come across so strangely, but friendlier online or something. I don’t get it. People are weird. Parenting must make us all weird. Maybe it’s the sleep deprivation.

  9. KalleyC
    February 11, 2014 | 2:55 pm

    The first thing that was on my mind is what other Kita and LaShawn already wrote! She could be insecure for some reason, but don’t let that get you down. Everyone has bad weeks and years, maybe she’ll get out of her funk soon.

  10. Char
    February 11, 2014 | 5:07 pm

    I’ve had a very similar experience with a mom and dad at my daughter’s school last year. I realize that to some people I might come across as too friendly (I smile and say hi to the parents and faculty I encounter), but would it kill her to be cordial? My advice, don’t worry about these weird ‘Debby Downers’. Your kids will see you being nice and friendly – we ask our kids to do this and this is a perfect opportunity for us to lead by example. Now, if only I would take my own advice lol.
    Hang in there hon.
    Cheers,
    Char

  11. Nellie @ Brooklyn Active Mama
    February 12, 2014 | 7:08 pm

    Yes. I saw the Bethenny episode. That one sista on there made me wanna hurt her!

    Your situation on the other hand was uncalled for. The mean mom situation is REAL and PRESENT in every classroom!

  12. K. Elizabeth @ YUMMommy
    February 16, 2014 | 8:45 am

    I had my first experience with mean moms when we started going to story time at our old library. After a while it didn’t bother me that the other moms were purposefully shutting me out despite my attempts to be cordial and try to make conversation with them. A few came around once I stopped trying and just went about my business. By that time of course, it was time for us to move.

    Idk if this mom is shy though. You can usually tell is someone is being shy or if they’re being cold and if you feel she’s being cold then chances are she is.

  13. J
    March 26, 2014 | 7:13 am

    Yikes! My little one isn’t old enough for school yet but that mom sure does sound “special”. You’re doing the right thing by just being cordial and walking away. I am like that too. If someone doesn’t bother to say hello to me after I have said it 3-4 times, I don’t even bother anymore. I just do the fake smile and keep it moving.

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