I was sitting in a conference room at work for a meeting. I glanced out of the window. There were a few moms out back pushing their kids in the swings. I should mention there’s a playground connected to our building. Moms and nannies from the surrounding neighborhood come to hang out with their kids all the time.
At that moment, my thoughts went straight to my son and how I’d like to be spending these moments with him at that park and not in a meeting. I wondered, as I often do, if I was missing out. I wondered if by going back to work I had signed up to miss the basic milestones of his life.
As I turned my attention back to the meeting I was reminded how cool my career is. I was reminded how cool my colleagues are. How lucky I am to be in the entertainment industry. I wondered if I had stayed home if I’d be missing out. Missing out on these brainstorm meetings, creative groups and just the overall outlet of what I do.
In those moments I found myself at some sort of self-imposed crossroads. It seems that no matter what road I chose, I’d be missing out on something. One is obviously more important, however there are things to be missed on both sides of the coin. I found myself wondering why it has to be so hard? Why there can’t be a best of both worlds scenario for me? Why it has to be so black and white?
I found myself wishing for the grey area where I can have the creative outlet of my career and have the precious moments with my child(ren). I really crave just a bit of grey.