The Three Year Old Ego…

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Being that I wasn’t the most confident kid, I have been making the extra effort to build the confidence of my babies.

It took me years to get myself together. I seriously wasn’t loving me completely until college. I don’t want my kids to be that way. I feel like I missed out on things because I wasn’t sure of myself and didn’t think I measured up to the cool kids. Once I became the confident version of me, I swear, I wanted a do-over of high school! I just know I would have done everything differently!

In order to build confidence in my babies, I am constantly telling my son how proud I am of him. When he does something well – I celebrate it. I verbally tell him the areas where he seems to excel. We also tell him how handsome he is. I tell he and his sister that they are my beautiful babies. I feel like I have to balance that so that they don’t think all they are is wrapped up in how they look. So that’s why I celebrate how sweet they are and how smart they are.

IMG_0029My first indication that I may have gone overboard with the physical compliments? My son was in our room and he was showing me his outfit after his dad got him dressed. I said,  “nice”.  He said,  “I’m so handsome.”  Hmm.

Then I heard him in the bathroom as his dad was getting him ready. He said, “Daddy, I’m beautiful.”  Um – I think we’ve created a monster. I may have, possibly, kind of, made it worse by later telling him that he’s the most handsome little boy in the whole wide world. Maybe. At which point, my husband told me that we may want to chill on that.  Yeah, he may be right.

There’s one thing to have a confident kid. I gotta work harder on not blowing his head up. I don’t think I want a three year old with an inflated ego!

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20 Responses to The Three Year Old Ego…
  1. Sunny
    April 1, 2013 | 9:36 am

    I’m the same way, except I don’t think I started loving some me until I was in my 20s and therefore, I’m super conscious about building the esteem of my baby girl (she’s 19 mths now).

    As far as your son, I think you are doing a good job. Maybe back of the ‘…boy in the world’ compliments but keep doing what you are doing? Are you ever around other kids with him? If so, I’d say compliment them in front of him, so he has a balance and can see that there are other beautiful/smart/etc. kids in the world too!

  2. Aracely
    April 1, 2013 | 10:32 am

    I’m with you on this. We always tell Madison how proud we are of her and how beautiful she is and she seems to love it because she gives us this big ole smile afterwards. I hope we’re not overdoing!

  3. Emmy
    April 1, 2013 | 1:11 pm

    Lol! Oh I know this one all too well. My daughter is the only girl with 2 brothers so needless to say she is daddy’s little princess, and she has beautiful red-hair, get’s us stopped in the store all the time beautiful red- and big brown eyes– needless to say she knows she is beautiful, so much so that once when my husband was telling my kids how much he loves me and how beautiful I was, my daughter pipped up “And what about me daddy?” all while flipping her hair over her shoulder and batting her eyelashes! I just about died!

  4. Krissy
    April 1, 2013 | 4:12 pm

    He is VERY handsome tho

    I do the same thing with Jas. I try not to over do it but I really do think shes the most beautiful little girl, but i am biased lol

  5. LaShawn
    April 1, 2013 | 4:44 pm

    I do the same thing with Pookah. I really do think he’s the most handsome boy in the world. But I want him to think that his mother thinks so at least. And I also tell him he so smart and that I am so PROUD of him ALL THE TIME. I want him to believe he is smart and that his parents are always proud of him. No matter what. I don’t want anyone to deflate his ego. SMH. I haven’t created a monster yet, I try to tone it down. But it’s just so hard. LOL

  6. Kita
    April 2, 2013 | 7:08 am

    I never compliment on looks with my kids but if they do something good in school or something good at home I will compliment them and tell them how proud I am of them. Me not complimenting on looks does not phase my kids at all though they compliment each other if my daughter gets dressed up her brother will say looking good and she will say yep you too. There is no need for me lol

  7. Quiana
    April 2, 2013 | 3:22 pm

    I agree – he *is* handsome! I’m all about confidence then I read cross-cultural articles about how American children are overly confident. I say it’s so cutthroat out there it’s important that we champion all aspects (not just physical) of our families. Way to go mom!

  8. Chica Fashion
    April 2, 2013 | 5:30 pm

    Hi! Thanks for passing by my blog! I am exactly the same way with my daughter and she does the same thing lol. She says mami I look beautiful and compliments me too. When my husband forgets to compliment her she comes to me sad and says Papi didn’t say anything to me lol. Kids are the funniest.

    Alicia

  9. Natalie
    April 3, 2013 | 6:35 am

    Ha ha that’s too funny! He’s definitely got his confidence 🙂

  10. Kalleyc
    April 3, 2013 | 6:49 am

    Well, he is so handsome. So that’s the truth. 🙂

  11. MRs. Pancakes
    April 3, 2013 | 8:19 pm

    lol….i think that’s wonderful!! and he is handsome!

  12. bonooobong
    April 4, 2013 | 1:40 am

    And what if he is right?:) Btw I think it is the better case if he has got some healthy self-confidence and self-love, some people are unable to learn these skills, and let’s be honest: these characteristics are necessary for any kind of success in life. So don’t get in trouble, your little prince is going to reach his goals;)

  13. YUMMommy
    April 4, 2013 | 4:22 pm

    I think it’s great to help kids build confidence in themselves. But like you said, we also need to make sure we keep some balance so that they don’t end up with bigger than lives egos.

  14. Alison @ Get Your Pretty On
    April 4, 2013 | 5:00 pm

    Aww, I love this and with two teenagers now, I wish they had that kind of rockin’ self-confidence. Enjoy it while you can. When they hit about twelve, that suddenly changes.

  15. Alex
    April 5, 2013 | 10:56 pm

    All the kids had a great experience and confidence!

  16. Mai Bateson
    April 6, 2013 | 8:02 am

    He is handsome.. and all the kids are too! We, parents, I think won’t get overboard as long as we tell our kids that God never created ugly people – that everything are beautiful and unique in its own special way! 🙂 We are God’s masterpiece 😀

  17. GG
    April 8, 2013 | 1:51 pm

    Aww! Well, he is handsome sooooo….LOL. I understand what you mean. You want to program them to be confident and humble at the same time and sometimes it’s not easy to know where to balance things out. I think that as parents, we sometimes forget that we’re not only teaching them by what we say, we’re also teaching them by what they see us do. So, I’m sure he sees you both being humble and gracious and he’s picking up on that as well. It will all come together 🙂

  18. Amber
    April 9, 2013 | 11:40 pm

    “Daddy, I’m beautiful.” That made me smile and laugh! So sweet!

  19. Pepper Tan
    April 10, 2013 | 5:47 pm

    Oh, your boy’s going to grow up to be a heartbreaker, I can tell 🙂

    Yes, it is important to help build our kids’ self-confidence. I know I wasn’t the most confident kid on the block either. It’s hard work, but if we start them off early, it’ll pay off when they grow up.

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