What’s a Real Woman

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There’s something that bothers me every time I hear it or read it. It’s when I hear people talk about what a real woman is or what a real woman looks like.

Things like “real women have curves.” Or “why doesn’t anyone on TV have a real woman’s body?”  And “Of course she looks like that. She’s a model. She’s not a real woman.” There are many circumstances where this whole real woman thing is thrown around. It irks me. Full disclosure: I did model for a minute. I was tall and naturally slim. I did work out though and totally watched what I ate. I don’t do that as much now. Getting better though. I guess I look more “real” now? LOL!

I don’t think “real women” all look a certain way. What if younger women with perky boobs walked around talking about “real women don’t need bras”. Silly, right? I think it’s all silly. Some of us have a belly, some of us have a whole lot of booty, some of us are hippy while others have NO hips at all. Some of us have stretch marks, others don’t. Who is to say which of these features makes us “real”?

It just feels like another way to divide women. Don’t we do that enough of that with the good ol “mom wars.” Can’t we just be women, moms, real – all of us?

real womanEverybody has something they’d like to change on their body. More boobs, more booty, flat tummy – something. Just because someone else has all the changes I’d like to make doesn’t make them any less of a real woman. Maybe she worked her arse off to get the body she has. Maybe she has a live in chef and a personal trainer that comes to her house every day to get her right. Great! If I had the money, I probably would too!

I’d love to have Naomi Camplbell’s legs and Gisele Bundchen’s chiseled stomach. Boobs that don’t require a push to be perky would be nice. I’m still a real woman though. My calves could be bigger but I’m cool if they stay the way they are. After two kids, I have more tummy than I’d like but I’ve been working on it and the changes are real. Another “perk” of having and nursing two kids, my boobs are a lost cause. I have some good bras though! My body is amazing. It does amazing things. Anything else is just icing on an already pretty sweet cake. Guess what? The same is true for you. That’s real.

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50 Responses to What’s a Real Woman
  1. Myrabev
    November 5, 2014 | 11:43 am

    I know how you feel its so annoying how there is always talk about real women this and real women that, whatever we want to be is what a real woman is. Thanks for the wonderful post

  2. LaMode365
    November 5, 2014 | 11:45 am

    This post is amazing and I agree! I don’t like when people say “real women have curves.” Real women look like whatever you are. Every woman is a real woman and it is silly to try to degrade women with these odd expressions. No one should be putting others down to make others (or themselves) feel better.

  3. Angela
    November 5, 2014 | 12:39 pm

    Real women are strong, amazing, and confident no matter what they look like. Thank you for a great post!

  4. Jaime
    November 5, 2014 | 1:27 pm

    I love this post and wholeheartedly agree. I am a real woman and my weight fluctuates all the time. I don’t fit the complete mold that society has declared is a “real woman.”

  5. Heather
    November 5, 2014 | 1:33 pm

    I love this and totally agree! Real women are the real them…the end. Great post for all ladies to read and remember! 🙂

  6. Claire
    November 5, 2014 | 2:13 pm


  7. Paula
    November 5, 2014 | 2:16 pm

    I love the graphic. No one can say what a “real” woman is except that woman! This is a great post!

  8. Debra
    November 5, 2014 | 2:20 pm

    Real women live in real life…There are all sorts of “real women” in the world – we shouldn’t have to fit any one definition.

  9. Shipra
    November 5, 2014 | 2:21 pm

    I agree! She is who she WANTS to be! <3

  10. Robin (Masshole Mommy)
    November 5, 2014 | 2:56 pm

    I think as long as we love ourselves and are happy in our own bodies, then we are doing alright.

  11. Andi
    November 5, 2014 | 4:29 pm

    Couldn’t agree more. A woman’s realness is not defined by her body size!

  12. Nancy
    November 5, 2014 | 5:24 pm

    Love that. A real woman is whoever the haaaiil she wants to be. Got that right.

  13. Pam
    November 5, 2014 | 5:45 pm

    I totally agree with you! A real woman is whatever she wants to be. I just wish everyone realized this!

  14. Debbie Denny
    November 5, 2014 | 5:48 pm

    All women are real Go girl!

  15. Pauline Cabrera
    November 5, 2014 | 6:06 pm

    Women don’t need to validate themselves to anyone.

  16. Catherine S
    November 5, 2014 | 6:28 pm

    I completely agree. I like who I am so I don’t worry about what anybody else thinks.

  17. Megan @ All That Glitters
    November 5, 2014 | 6:48 pm

    I like the one I saw the other day, “Real women have a pulse.” Pretty much any living woman is a “real woman”. lol!

    • Cam
      November 5, 2014 | 8:35 pm

      Yes, yes, yes!!! I love that!!!

  18. Lindsay
    November 5, 2014 | 7:28 pm

    I agree with all of this!!! All women are different and that is what makes us so beautiful! Every women is a “real women” 🙂

  19. Chelsea
    November 5, 2014 | 8:06 pm

    Agree agree agree. Skinny, curvy, in between.. we’re all women!

  20. Jeanine
    November 5, 2014 | 8:17 pm

    I agree! As long as a woman is happy with themselves who cares? People drive me nuts!

  21. Michelle Snow
    November 5, 2014 | 9:08 pm

    Thank you! I am so glad that you wrote this. I have always thought this and it has bothered me so much when people say that “real women aren’t that skinny” or “real women don’t look like that.” Well yeah they do, because that is a real woman dammit! We are all different. This is great.

  22. Susanna @Zealous Mom
    November 6, 2014 | 2:45 am

    I love this! It’s so true, and who are those people defining “real women” anyway?

  23. Rebekah
    November 6, 2014 | 7:29 am

    Great post 🙂 Body shaming of all sizes needs to stop!

  24. Brenda
    November 6, 2014 | 7:44 am

    LOL! Great post! I like the quote with the cross out.

  25. Ann Bacciaglia
    November 6, 2014 | 9:08 am

    Every female is a “real” woman. We come in all shapes and sizes. I have when people try to squeeze everyone into a label. Great post.

  26. Christie
    November 6, 2014 | 9:59 am

    Concur with that! Too many stigmas placed on real women 🙂

  27. Krystal
    November 6, 2014 | 10:09 am

    A real woman is whoever she wants to be! 😉 Thanks for the encouragement!

  28. Chrystal @ YUM eating
    November 6, 2014 | 10:19 am

    I get so tired of people trying to put people in categories based on size. Skinny shaming, fat shaming, all of it just needs to stop. We need to accept ourselves and each other as we are. If we don’t like who we are for personal reason than it is up to us to change, not up to anyone else.

  29. karissa
    November 6, 2014 | 10:37 am

    This is a great post, I agree with what you wrote.

  30. Tracey
    November 6, 2014 | 11:34 am

    LOVE this! Love the graphic and I so agree!

  31. Erica
    November 6, 2014 | 11:49 am

    I have a lot more body than I like but hey after having three kids I have to say i’m not doing to bad…

  32. kristine foley
    November 6, 2014 | 1:26 pm

    That image is awesome! Amen sister!

  33. Erin
    November 6, 2014 | 2:09 pm

    Amen! Thank you thank you thank you for saying this!!!

  34. Rosey
    November 6, 2014 | 3:04 pm

    I think we have to be happy with ourselves. There’s so much criticism over what is the ‘right body’ type that we could never meet the expectations of everyone anyway. Silly, isn’t it?

  35. Katie
    November 6, 2014 | 3:40 pm

    I totally agree with this statement, it’s so true. Real woman are whoever the hell they want to be! I still believe firmly that models are all aliens though. 😉

    Katie <3

  36. Estelle
    November 6, 2014 | 6:29 pm

    A real woman is someone with a heart, a soul, a mind and a body that envelops her loved ones with hugs. It is the grandma down the street, the single mom, the woman married for 40 years and the woman running a multi-national corporation. A real woman is every woman.

  37. Dawn
    November 6, 2014 | 8:54 pm

    My daughter and I were just discussing this! When promoting one body type, you shouldn’t put down another!

  38. chrissy va
    November 6, 2014 | 10:21 pm

    No body type should be insulted, especially in favor of another. Body image is important and too many women are ashamed of their body or weight or size or shape.

  39. Marie Young
    November 7, 2014 | 7:12 am

    Totally feel you. I love my body, but I do feel the pressure from society to change what I look like. I ignore it as much as I can!

  40. Chrysa Duran
    November 7, 2014 | 7:25 am

    Exactly! We shouldn’t put limits or conditions on anyone, not even ourselves. Thanks for sharing this, I plan on sharing it, too.

  41. breanna
    November 7, 2014 | 7:28 am

    That quote is AMAZING! I love it. Every word, every thing that it means and stands for. Just what I needed to read on this Friday to kick start my weekend 🙂

  42. Natalie
    November 7, 2014 | 10:05 am

    As women we are just so hard on ourselves. I think it’s just natural to be so critical about our bodies. But it’s so hard not to be!

  43. Liz Mays
    November 7, 2014 | 1:11 pm

    Amen to that sentiment! I love not thinking about comparisons at all!

  44. Mrs. Pancakes
    November 7, 2014 | 2:27 pm

    I love the sentiment of this most because it is so true isn’t that we are exactly who we are!!

  45. Jessica Doll
    November 8, 2014 | 1:33 am

    I love this post, I think a “real” woman is whatever she thinks she is.

  46. Jessica
    November 9, 2014 | 4:47 pm

    This was an awesome post! I never really thought about what that phrase actually meant. Great job!

  47. Ayana Pitterson
    November 10, 2014 | 10:55 am

    Clapping and saying PREACH! A real woman is a female that is breathing…lol. Thanks for sharing.

    Thrifting Diva

  48. K. Elizabeth (YUMMommy)
    November 12, 2014 | 9:45 am

    Love this post! Looking a certain way does not make some of realer or less real than other women. I so wish people would stop with that nonsense. I see at least three “Real Women” posts a day and it’s annoying.

    We’re all real. We don’t need certain looks or material things to define us either.

  49. Erica
    November 12, 2014 | 1:25 pm

    I love this. It’s so easy to get wrapped up in all the other “what you’re supposed to be’s” that you forget to be yourself!

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