Would you ever?

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via mlive.com

If a couple you knew wanted to have a baby would you help? If that couple had tried over and over again and had miscarried several times – would you think about being a surrogate?

That’s the story in an article I read on Mom Finds. That article got me thinking. I hadn’t really given much thought before to surrogacy in my own life. I’d seen stories of people who’d offered their bodies to carry a child for someone and I thought that was awesome. I still do. I don’t know if I could do it though. I tend to think that I’d want to keep the baby. If I was carrying a child, no matter how much I wanted to help someone else, I think the bond I was creating with the baby would compel me to want to keep the baby. I asked this question on Facebook and Twitter and those who responded said they would do it, or at the very least consider it.

Is it a different situation if you’re doing it for a couple you don’t know? In the article on Mom Finds, the author mentioned that she would consider doing it for a couple she’s friends with. She’s been watching them struggle and though they haven’t asked, if they did, she’d carry a child for them. It has to be hard to see people who you think would be awesome parents struggle with having a baby. Especially when there are so many people who honestly suck at being parents and seem to think hate the role of mommy and daddy. To make matters worse, the couple she mentions have no problem getting pregnant – but then lose the baby. I would imagine that if I were their friends I’d want to help in some way too. It’s got to be heartbreaking to sit on the sidelines and watch them go through this.  I just don’t know that I could help in the way of surrogacy.

What do you think? Could you be a surrogate for someone? Would it make a difference if it was someone you knew or a stranger?

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13 Responses to Would you ever?
  1. kita
    November 12, 2011 | 8:01 am

    I don’t think I could I know a lot of people do it for the money especially college students. I knew one girl who did it twice and she made over 10 grand. I am like you if I carry you there will be a bond and I would always wonder how that child is after I gave him/her up.

  2. Optimistic Mom
    November 12, 2011 | 10:00 am

    I would at least think about it for someone I knew, but I don’t think I could go through with it. I would always want a bond and would feel that I would need to watch over the child as if he/she was my own.

  3. Denise
    November 12, 2011 | 11:46 am

    I think that is one of the most generous things you can do as a woman, but I couldn’t do it. I have 2 kids and I’m single… I couldn’t put myself through that in my situation, but if you’re able to do it for someone in need, then I have a lot of respect for that.. it can’t be easy!

  4. Kristin
    November 12, 2011 | 12:04 pm

    I would do it for my best friend or sister if they needed me!

  5. This Cookn' Mom
    November 12, 2011 | 12:19 pm

    I honestly do not think I could be a surrogate. It would be hard to carry the child and birth the precious baby and then give her away. The child I birthed would be on my mind all the time. I do not know how other women do it. You have to be a really strong person to go through all of that.

  6. Laura@Catharsis
    November 12, 2011 | 5:07 pm

    First of all, let me say that I absolutely adore your new place! Looks so sweet. And that picture of you? Gorgeous! Now, as for surrogacy, I have to say a big fat no. It’s not that I wouldn’t want to give something to a dear friend, something this precious, it’s that this isn’t the gift God put me on Earth to give. I am terrible with pregnancy. Quite honestly, it is the worst experience of my life to date, and I was mauled by a dog when I was six, if that tells you anything. I am so miserable while pregnant, that when all is said and done, you better believe I’m taking that baby home with me. I admire those who can selflessly give like this, but part of me also hates them because it means they enjoy pregnancy, a time that’s supposed to be miraculous, and it’s not fair that I couldn’t enjoy it too.

    • Cam
      November 14, 2011 | 9:11 pm

      Thanks! Glad you like it!You have me cracking up over here. I had to have my husband read your comment so he knew what I was laughing at!

  7. Cari
    November 12, 2011 | 6:56 pm

    I think I could do it, but it would be difficult nonetheless. I think it would have to be a family or friend for sure. I guess I would think of it like I’m the oven baking the cookies, that I didn’t make or even know the recipe to. I would be probably one of the most self-less and amazing things you could do for someone though. Good question, Cam.

  8. The Pepperrific Life
    November 12, 2011 | 11:36 pm

    Being a surrogate is not for everyone, I guess. It does take guts of steel- and a heart of gold. I honestly can’t say if I’d agree to doing it. Yes, it may make a huge difference if it was for somebody close to me. I’ll need some more time to think about that 🙂

  9. Mimi
    November 13, 2011 | 9:28 pm

    It would indeed be hard but I think I could. I would want to keep the baby but being a mother I know how awesome it is to have a child. Being able to give that joy to another mother would bring me joy. However I am inclined to say it would have to be someone I knew. At least I would get to see the baby.

  10. Alicia @MommyDelicious
    November 13, 2011 | 9:59 pm

    I remember that article on Mom Finds. My good friend from college is the author of that article (hehe). I don’t think that I could actually go through with it, but like Jeanine said, if I saw a couple struggling for a long time to have a child, I may consider it. Don’t know if I could actually go through with it, though.

  11. KalleyC
    November 14, 2011 | 4:15 pm

    Nope, I don’t think I could do it. I know I would want to keep that child for myself. It’s selfish, but I couldn’t offer my body. I would be attached to that child, and most likely break down after I gave that child up.

    • Cam
      November 14, 2011 | 9:10 pm

      I don’t think that’s selfish – I think it’s honest.

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